out of my mind

Can't believe that I woke up at 3:30 in the morning to study for my Japanese and Calc 3 tests today. Eeeeern=(

Towards the end

Well we've almost come to the end of the semester. I posted up this end-of-semester count down calender on my wall.

Although my winter might probably be boring like shit, the calender still gives me hopes, something to look forward to.

17 Days more!

Here I'm posting up some pictures taken a few weeks ago

with HG at Japanese Kimono/Cosplay try-on event

This was on homecoming weekend when I was doing a tabling at school event centre

fireworks on homecoming night after the soccer match

the very first snow of this year, though it's not really very heavy

this winter has been abnormally warm, to be out door I can still just wear a shirt n hoodie. It's global warming dudes, save the motherland or we are all gonna die lol

 random graffiti on a bench in school

look closer n u will recognise these two baby deers in this picture. saw them on my way back to dorm

Birds are flying south in winter

made these food on the first day of thanksgiving break with my roommate from Guam. Now I can make Guam style Chicken Kelaguen

For now I need to turn on my nerd mode for these 17 days, no more movie no more anime no more wasting time day dreaming no more fun

ciao~

half way through the semester

It's alrdy half way through this semester. Though the weather is kinda warm recently, I can still feel the cool freeze hiding in the wind. Life has been buzy in a good way. Everything is moving on, hair grows longer and autumn leaves are falling. Came across this interesting idea from my videogame-addicted roommate that "think life as a RPG game, we are just gradually building up the character for all the purposes". This is so freaking true. All the shit we learnt everyday, all the people we meet, all the exercises we had, and all the emotions we have been through are just counted as experiences adding on our profile. In the process we will become stronger and better. This is how we grow up.

new blog template

so modified the new blog template. and changed the url. simple-as-this.blogspot.com  

somehow this template is kind of weird cause I can't use the blogger ordinary header edition to add image in the header bar. so spent some time on editing the html of the layout. finally got it=)

okay, off to shower.

random stuff

Realized today that my template is kind of weird once a video is posted. some editions need to be made. Kind of troublesome cause there are no direct dragging and rearrange option. what I have to do is to change the html format of the blog layout. so maybe I will do it whenever I have time and feel like doing it=)

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So, yea. recorded my very FIRST cover today! Wonder wall by the Oasis. simple but nice. my friend says my posture is kind of retarded and I need more facial expressions=) will try to improve on that in the next video. But it's kind of hard cause I have to try to fit in the camera but at the same time trying to read the chords from the screen. And I think I need a mic cause the guitar is too loud I can barely hear myself. Let's see what I can do next time=D

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Have pretty lots of texts need to read for my cinema class, n lots of math questions needed to be practiced. Need to go through all the jap vocabs and write my philosophy paper. And at the same time spending 8 hours on work and 8 hours on student association. not to mention that I need to cook and do laundry and do all the homework. So, good luck to me!

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加油！

my very first cover

enjoy!

The lonely island is awesome

Think back

在昨晚精神恍惚頭腦作痛寫完了上一篇日誌之後的情況下，今天又將它讀了一遍。發現昨天說的有些事情純粹是屁話。對於什麽出身豪門之類的東西完全是放屁一樣doesn't make sense的。我就是我，這就是我的人生。

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我喜歡現在的我的家庭我的朋友我的學習我的生活我的一切。沒有什麽可以抱怨的。我很慶倖我能夠生在這樣的家庭，有愛我的父母與家人。我也慶倖我從小就能經歷很多同齡人經歷不了的事情。不論是好事也罷壞事也好，這些對我人生都是有幫助的。

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人確實是需要有時發洩一下的。我自認是我是一個總是把很多事情裝在心裡的人。因為除了我的爸媽等親人，我還沒有發現任何一個能夠讓我完全的相信的人。但是並不是全部的煩惱都能跟父母溝通。有些事情我還是偏向和別的人討論。雖然現在朋友到處都有，但是真正說得上志同道合能夠作為摯友的確是不多。前人們好久之前就明白了這一點，所以也就有了"知音難求"這句話。

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在昨天半夜寫完了那篇網址之後我也算是把近期內的壓力稍稍釋放了一下吧。感覺好了很多。我是需要這種發洩的。總是把這些話綁在心裡遲早是要爆炸的。

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所以，繼續努力吧！

Disappointed

看來期待了很久的winter英國之旅是去不成了。失望加遺憾的境地就是這種感覺。

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和老爸老媽在msn講話，聽到了好多可以說是實際的話吧。由這件事和這些談話讓我對殘酷的現實又多了些感受。

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家裡能供我出來讀書是很大的一筆開銷，同時還要供房子，還有雜七雜八的開銷。我也不想靠父母的錢來供自己。但是現階段我哪裡來的錢能供自己讀書啊。不能把出來讀書當成是理所當然。我愛我的爸媽，我很感激他們能供我出國念書，他們也都不容易。所以這些都是很偉大的事情。

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有時候覺得能生在豪門家里的那些人先天物質條件真是好過我這樣的普通人。做什麽事情都不用考慮資金上的問題。但是能做這樣的人的人到底也還是少之又少，往往很多人也不會珍惜。我猜這世界上大部份的人也還是像我這樣的在普普通通工薪階層的家庭里吧。當然不是說這是件壞事或什麽，只是說我只有非常非常努力要付出多於他們也許10倍到100倍的精力才能達到他們也許不怎麼費勁就能達到的狀態吧，想想看也是有點無奈的。我能做的只是像平庸的人一樣找份能養活自己的工作，買棟房子結婚生子養老等死吧。人人都告訴我這句是現實，這就是應該面對的。忘記你的理想吧，那些都是虛的。也許有人會說等你有了能賺錢的工作到時候在去完成理想也是可以的，世事難料，誰知道會發生什麽，也許還沒等到實現夢想就沒有機會了。

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有時候想想這些事都會讓我喘不過氣。我是獨子，短短的幾年後我就是要挑起家裡的單子的男人了。但是現在我卻什麽都沒有。我不能因為自己的無能讓父母反過來為我的人生犯愁。到現在我還是搞不清我到底是不是學現在這個專業的那塊料。說實話我對現在的專業沒有特別感興趣，但是感興趣的東西又不能拿來當做專業來讀。因為我要考慮實際的就業生存問題。一味的執著是不會被得到贊同的。翻翻歷史，莫扎特與梵高這樣的對一件事情執著這的男人到最後也沒有什麽好的下場。往往都是死了消食之後，才華才被人發覺。但是這又有什麽用。所謂的留給後人的偉大作品并沒有給他們帶來任何能自己感受到的好處。對不起我不是這麼偉大無私的人，我不希望我會名垂千古，我看中的只是自己能摸到的利益。這利益不一定是只經濟上的，藝術，思想，名譽等等都包括在內。在這方面我只不過是個俗人，擺脫不了也無法擺脫這些物質。當然我不是討厭現在的專業，也沒有任何反感。我也已經決定就走這條路了，起碼是最近的幾年。

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既然出來了，就不要抱著還要回去的念頭吧。有時候覺得中國人真的是很賤。人際關係的複雜，一兩句無心的話都會被別人記在心裡。這就是五千年歷史帶給我們的精華。人人都是拐彎抹角的打擊著別人，不斷滿足著自己那顆醜陋的虛榮心。把別人的痛苦看作是自己一種扭曲的樂趣。所以，我要非常努力的保持單純，至少在與別人打交道時，不要收的這些陋習的侵蝕。

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每夜最痛苦的是都是入睡，因為一閉上眼大腦就不停的轉動。所有的這些事情像幻燈片一樣不斷播放。我要好不容易想出一個解決方法才能安心。但是同樣的事情第二天繼續上演著，就像是古代打更一樣日復一日年復一年的上演著。老媽曾經說做好現在的事情，未來就會好很多。這是個非常簡單易懂的道理。但是如果真是這麼簡單，那爲什麽我還是會這麼的不安心。

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每時每刻我們都在消耗著生命。現在我在寫這篇東西的時候，我在這世上的時間又少了二十分鐘。而在看的人也在消耗著你在這世上的時間。這個想法是多麼的恐怖啊。

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現在頭隱隱作痛，解決這一問題的唯一方法是照著頭上開一槍。

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我才沒有這麼傻。

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真正到了那個時刻死都不怕了還怕生活嗎。其實我還是很怕死的。這世上很多事情我都還沒有經歷過，如果死了也太可惜了。對自己身體負責是對爸媽的負責。照顧好自己。

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也許我就是不長記性，還會總是白癡一樣的相信這明天會是不同的一天，是新的開始，是會更好的。但是，這就是我。一覺醒來繼續迎接新的一天。

new semester

嗨呀真是好久都沒有更新了,之前一直懶惰。

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那麼昨天下午是猶太人的節日,所以從一點開始放假。可惜我本來一點之後只有一堂課T.T 沒有我的suitemates那麼幸運逃掉了一天的課。

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那麼這學期開學位置都還不錯,忙忙碌碌的。學習,和朋友hang out, BUJA的東西, 打工, party等等..算是還蠻充實的。

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感覺我個人好像更獨立了,之前總是不想一個人閒下來,總是想和朋友們一起找事做。但是今年回來後發現除了和朋友hang out,很多事情突然喜歡自己一個人去做了,應該是說對朋友的依賴減小了吧。我覺得這是個好事吧,天下沒有不散的筵席,如果還總是太過依賴著別人,總有一天別人都離開了那自己就會很彷徨吧。

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這學期開始學日語了。現在看來還不是很難,也許因為還是在elementry level吧。不過語言這個東西嘛,不是說課本學完了就掌握了的。關鍵是在于要多運用。所以希望我憑著之前學語言的經驗來學日文應該是沒有問題吧。

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這學期搬進了學校的apartment. 所以是單人房,一共有四個suitemates. 有了廚房！可以自己給自己做飯吃了。然後有一個living room,廁所與浴室。還有一件儲物間。

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不多說了,下麵的請看圖說話吧。

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ken友情客串

小絮

好久沒有更新了,懶惰加上種種拖延. 現在感覺來了卻又要出門了. 那麼就晚上再說吧.

blogger is kind of censored here in china. damn. I'm going to temporarily switch back to myspace, and keep both blogs updated once I'm back in the states.

Leaving

The music is making me feeling more depressing, but as it sings, Everything's not lost.
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First thing first, I'm flying off Singapore this Saturday. I really enjoyed my stay here in SG this year, and I wish it could be longer. I haven't met all the friends I want to meet, but time is the limit. Don't worry, I will definitely see you guys in the future.
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So went to play bball with the bball guys. It was a really fun match. Everybody didn't really change much. It just feels like back to the secondary school days, except the subjects now we talk about are Alevel, NS and what's going to happen in life. I really looking forward to the next match in these years. Hope it will be soon.

Hanged out with Yangsheng and Daniel last week. wandered ard n drinked a little bit n chit chatted. It's great to know them. They are the type who are really serious when needed, and are daring enough to do all the crazy stuffs and hanging outs with me. I enjoyed our talks and jokes been made. so keep it on guys, take care and keep in contacts okay.

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Had picnic with the Retards under the star at Marina Barrage. The place is newly constraucted, but it's a great place to hang out. The whole CBD area and the flyer can been viewed at the top of the barrage.

played tennis with the retards on another day
It's really amazing how the retards is found, how the eight of us came together and formed the clique. We always share our joys n worries, n be retarded toegher. well it's a pity tt didn't see yk n zhen much. But I shall chatch up with u guys some other time.

Had a picnic with the FB! Although I only met u guys for a few months last year, there is really good bonding among us. FB consists some many people with different characteristics, but we just kind of like the magnet, pulled together. I'm so glad that I met u guys in NJ. well this year is critical to u guys, so everybody is like mugging hard. so all the best for ur studies n Alevels. hopefully we can meet up again soon.

Had a nice chat with arthas. he's become more mature I think. starts to think abt his future n plans. oh n thanks to jolle for the cake, and good luck in school.

Met up with Jolynn for her belated birthday with guowei, huishi, congshi and derrick. They didn't really change much haha.

well time to go. Goodbye my friends. Hope that I will see you guys again soon!

1st week in Singapore

have been lazy to update about what's going on. so the semester has ended a few weeks ago, n I'm now in Singapore. Have been travelling, visiting n eating ard.

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Went back NJC last week to visit the choir. When I was sitting in the AVA, listening to the warm up, all the moments of memory just flashed back in my mind. The familiar smell room, the cold breeze from the air conditioning, and of course the sound we are making. Each person sings out their own part, and together they combine into the power of music. For certain times, I really missed the magic of making music. the choir warm up


NJC

NJC

NJC field

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met up with some S16s, had dinner at seoul garden. some of the S16s are in Germany now for their music exchange programe. so hopefully will have some outing with them when they are back.

New blog skin

new template!

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so since something went wrong with my last template, and I hadn't had the time to fix it, I finally get it done today. So here it is, the brand new look of my blog!

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anyways it's getting late. I shall sleep now and try to update something tomorrow I guess.

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ciao~

This is passion.

I'm gonna finish the effing paper tonight. I swear to god.

18歲的最後3小時

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吃了3盒chow mien

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喝了1瓶smirnoff passion fruit

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聽了Greeeen, 孫燕姿，Plain White T's, The Fray, 陳奕迅

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見了鄭楚

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看了國光幫幫忙

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獨自亂逛

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看夜景
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拍照

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懷疑人生